Thursday, May 12, 2011
,
7:27 AM
It is so random why I suddenly thought of you but yeah. I did? I couldnt sleep at all. And he werent there for me. I somehow missed those times when we were still tgt. He doesn't seem to understand anything at all, and he's got lots of things to learn. Ah, can't blame him. What to do, lol. It's my choice anyway. (: What the hell is freaking wrong with that anime. Like seriously, and wtf is wrong w me -_- it is just an anime.. I dont understand why. I even cried. Omg ? It is so funny how this fked up anime spoiled my day and even made me stay wide awake in the middle of the night, when i'm supposed to be on bed, in my lalaland. It was so quiet, and I felt so lonely. Everyone was sleeping so soundly, so comfortably. Although that damn bitch woke up quite a few times, asking me to go to bed and ruin my thoughts. Still, I am relieve that someone actually cared for me. At least I know, I am not alone now.
I dont know what's really on my mind. It has been flooded with memories recently. The past which I had always yearn for, to go back. It kinda hurts everytime I am hinting you I need you so badly and you couldn't be there for me. All I get was nonchalance. Well, you could say that you did care, and I was the one who's not taking the initiative to tell you what really happened.. Forget it. I am so sick and tired of telling you every single thing. What to do and how to do it right. How many times weren't you there for me ? I was crying, I was crying.. You always told me you'd be there for me but I doubt so. Yeah, you always said you sense something's wrong. Yes, something is amiss but you can't even bother to find out what it was. All you did was, study>friends>eat>sleep, family perhaps. That was what you did isn't it ? There is no room for me. Have you ever considered my feelings? It kinda piss me off, when you know something is not right and you are not doing anything. Sometimes I wonder, if i am really important to you. Everytime we quarrel, or maybe because you were busy doing ur stuffs, I'd constantly check my phone, waiting for ur replies. And everytime I did that, i'd miss you more. It would always take an hour or so for you to reply but I was relieved you replied anyway. Happy yet sad. I dont know why I have these feelings but it seemed like you are enjoying urself alot. Maybe my presence doesnt affect you, probably a little, but not as much as you did I could say. It feels weird almost everytime aft we quarrelled and you started the conver, trying t break the tension. You'd always pretend that nothing happened when I replied you. It did not happen only once but quite a number of times. I dont get you. Do you really feel nothing ? Or are you purposely trying to avoid th conflicts we had. I don't know. How i wish you'd stay and flood my inbox everytime I asked you to go away. It seemed like you didn't catch me. It's alright.. I wanna give up. Im really exhausted.. My heart hurts.. For a moment I thought you would be there to catch me when I fall, but I guess i was wrong. You couldnt even be there for me, to cheer me up, or maybe be kind enough to just do the slightest thing a boyfriend would do like asking me to stop crying before you hang up the phone. You knew that I was crying. You knew it well urself. And everytime you did that, I would cry harder. Because You made me realise that, no one, will be there for me anymore.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
,
1:43 AM
I just want everything to remain like this forever
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
,
9:47 PM
Everything is alright now
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
,
11:17 PM
What hurts the most- Rascal Flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
that don't bother me.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,
even though going on with you gone still upsets me.
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay,
but that's not what gets me.
What hurts the most,
was being so close.
And having so much to say,
and watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
is what I was tryin' to do.
It's hard to deal with the pain I'm losing you everywhere I go,
but I'm doin' it.
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone.
Still harder. Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret,
but I know, if I could do it over,
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart,
that I left unspoken.
What hurts the most,
was being so close.
And having so much to say,
and watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
is what I was tryin' to do.
What hurts the most,
was being so close.
And having so much to say,
and watching you walk away.
And never knowing,
what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you,
is what I was tryin' to do.
I had a dream and it was about you...
I smiled and recalled the memories we had...
Then I realise tears are falling from my eyes... You know why?
Coz in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye...
Friday, April 1, 2011
,
6:46 PM
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him
Boy, I dont know what to do. I am missing you so much yet there is nothing that I can do. The feeling is so strong, and it is not going away.
I love you<3
Sunday, March 13, 2011
,
12:59 AM
In my dreams you're mine forever
You'll never know how deep my love is for you x3
Monday, February 21, 2011
,
5:41 PM
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened
Shag day for me. Totally no mood for any lessons. Slept for the whole of chinese class. Doubt the teacher even care though it's common test tomorrow. Can't understand why I keep thinking about him for the past few days. He just changed. Totally.. Uh.. Don't even know what's happening. Like srsly, wtf is wrong with me. Since when he could affect me THAT much? After that day we totally lost contact. Sigh. I just miss him so much. AHHHH Crazy Tzeting -.-
And all my tears they,
keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?..